Demystifying Authorhood: Prioritizing Writing
Why writing didn't become a priority until I did.
I used to struggle to find time to write.
No. Scratch that.
I used to struggle to prioritize my writing.
It’s an issue I hear so many writers struggling with, no matter where they are in their writing lives. Whether someone has written one or five or ten books, unless they have the ability to write full-time, writing can quickly fall to the back burner. Writing can become a hobby. Or less than.
And I have been no exception to that rule.
What my writing used to look like:
In 2010, after I completed graduate school and began working full-time as a social worker, I was sadly out of writing practice. It was a priority in graduate school because I was required to write papers for 90% of my classes. But creative writing? Nah. Wasn’t happening.
At that time in my life, I tried working on a novel in my spare time. Mostly on weekends. Admittedly, I wasn’t all that passionate about the project. I only did it because I knew I wanted to write.
I wasn’t prioritizing my writing because I was prioritizing other things instead. I had the lofty goal to write a novel, but lofty goals don’t matter when there is no plan to achieve them. When the thing we want isn’t being prioritized, it’s a true bummer that we can’t simply wish it into being.
Day in and day out, I had a dream to be a writer, but I had no clue how to turn that dream into a reality.
I’ve heard it said that the things that matter most in our lives are the things we prioritize. Plain and simple.
Me? I was a caretaker. I felt my only worth was in serving the world. Not that this is bad. It’s lofty and altruistic. But I became a martyr. I was also codependent. If I wasn’t working, I was focused on navigating my interpersonal relationships, especially romantic ones. I didn’t know I had ADHD or autism. I didn’t know I was transgender.
It made sense that my priorities were not in alignment with my true self, and that included the writing.
What I realized was that I was not prioritizing my writing because I did not know how to prioritize myself.
What changed…
One day in 2013, the perfect story idea fell into my lap. The only thing that had changed in my life was that I went vegan. I mention this because going vegan brought me closer to my authentic self as a nature and animal lover. And that led to the story idea for my debut novel, Sentient.
I was so passionate about the story idea that I had no choice but to make it a priority. It would have driven me insane, otherwise.
So while working full-time, I wrote every Sunday, about 2-3 hours per day.
That was it. I wasn’t so much prioritizing the writing as I was prioritizing an ideal. A theme I strongly believed in. For me, it was easy enough to prioritize something I believed in. At that time in my life I was an avid activist, and much of my passion for equality was strong enough to get me to write.
In order for me to prioritize the writing, it needed to be about something bigger. It needed to be about a bigger picture contribution, rather than me prioritizing myself. It wasn’t ideal, but it worked until I did the inner work to make myself more of a priority.
A quick mention on the inner work: therapy, lots of therapy. And spiritual work. Meditation. Silent retreats. You name it, I probably did it. Eventually, it all led to me feeling worthy enough to prioritize myself.
Let’s talk about the “P” word…
How do I prioritize my writing? Two very important things:
Boundaries: I had to start setting boundaries. First, with myself. I had to feel out what were going to be the best times of the week/day to write, given my circumstances. And then I had to do the hard work of setting those boundaries with others (no one gets my Sundays. Those are writing days).
Scheduling it in: If I don’t schedule writing into my calendar, it does not happen. I live and die by my calendar. It tells me where to be, and when. If it’s 9AM on a Tuesday and the calendar says, “write”, I write. Maybe I’m obedient, but it works for me. It removes guess work and indecision and creates a work schedule. When it’s in my calendar, I take it more seriously.
These days, I write anywhere from 3-5 hours per week. This depends on my fluctuating work schedule, but because I have learned how to prioritize myself, I’ve found more time in my week to write, without it feeling overwhelming. I write a few hours on Sundays, and on weekdays I can sometimes get in a few extra hours. More than ever before, and because I figured out how to prioritize.
Free Prioritization Worksheet:
I put this worksheet together for anyone struggling to prioritize their writing. I introduced a similar process in my New Year’s Resolution article back in January, which you can read, here.
In response to feedback from that article, I created a Start Where You Are Prioritization Reset for Writers worksheet that you can download, for free, if you want some help with prioritizing your own writing. (Just put $0 for the amount, to get it for free).
What I love about this worksheet is that it is a simple list of questions (2 pages) designed to help you get quiet and listen to yourself. It is designed for self-reflection. It is not advice. It is not another “how to”. You have all the answers you need, within. So take the time and sit down and listen. Maybe this can help you get clear so that you can prioritize your own work.
Thanks for reading.
Jay
P.S. If you want some one-on-one support with your writing, if you’ve got a first draft in your brain or locked away in a drawer somewhere, I can help you get started. Feel free to message me: